Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet..'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

2.题目: ..一边...........一边............ ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服 ,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

3.题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？~~

4.题目: 一... 就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

5.題目: 你看
小朋友写: 你看什么看! 没看过啊

6. 照样造句
例题: 你 (唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写: 你(好吗 ) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

7.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我( )，其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我( 是戴面具的)。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用???

8.题目: 好... 又好..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

9.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写: 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

10.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

11.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...
还有一个更瞎的…
小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~~

12. 题目: 谢谢....因为......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

13.题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......

14. 题目: 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

15.題目: 一… 便…
小朋友写: 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。
还有一個更瞎的…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

16.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

17果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水
老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。
小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师：…………

18 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清

19 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………

20 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………

Me and lynn lynn go to poly clinic and had fever... so MASK ON!!!

Look at what the bloody maid did to the girl...

In memory of Michael Jackson..... dancing king gone...

my 2 diff hairstyles

I bloody cut my thumb while cooking... I was cutting my kai lan into shreds.. den..
'PAK!' the knife went through my nail then my finger... sucks! And i am in the bloody foul mood. I am like shouting at everybody for no reason.. i feel bad.. and hate wad I am doing. nvm.. i'm watching final destination..bye!

Today's orchard 'outing' with lynn lynn... :D Fun like hell...did a lot of crazy stuff.. heh... like taking pictures in the middle of far east...=.=

3rd one: see how long he can tahan
2nd one:so young lidat..old already? y cup?
1st one:village girl (dog version)

hilarious kids..

Thai airways... you dare to take?

stupid horny rat... even a dead rat also wan to 'F**k'

santa in summer.. zzz..=.=

Ah Beng is a bus driver; one day got this old folks home 'pao' his bus for a day trip to Pulau Ketam.

Sitting right behind the driver's seat is Grandma Sue and from his rear mirror Ah Beng can see that Grandma Sue is happily munching away..

In the middle of the road trip, Grandma Sue tapped Ah Beng on his shoulder and asked him...

Grandma: 'Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?'

Ah Beng: 'Tenkiu ah ma... yes I want!'

Then Ah Beng also happy happy munching peanuts... about 20 minutes down the road, Grandma Sue asked Ah Beng again...

Grandma: 'Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eat peanut ai mai?'

Ah Beng: 'Tenkiu ah ma ... yes I want!'

To make the story short, this goes on for a few more times then Ah Beng finally asks Grandma Sue...

Ah Beng: 'Ah ma ah .! ... you dont eat peanuts one meh?'

Grandma: 'No... no eat! Ah ma boh teeth la!'

Ah Beng: 'Aiks! Boh teeth then why ah ma buy peanuts leh?'

Grandma: 'No choice leh! Just now that 7-11 is out of chocolate so ah ma kena buy this peanut chocolate lor! Ah ma lick the chocolate around the peanut and the peanut give you eat lor!'

wad de hell man... poor girl/boy

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your
self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you can read this -Thank a teacher!

sucks!!!! I dunno whether to be happy or not... money or free time? money or free time? MONEY OR FREE TIME??????? 20 students with packed schedule... more money but less time..so busy.. busy busy.. wonder when i will 'kua' .. feel like pushing some students to other tutors... but dunno whether i should or not..


anyway... today, me and lynn lynn went to gym gym..we saw this indian doing pull up... she was damn mean.. she said: Eh, A piece of shit hanging... i was like... eh got meh? i didn't even see anything...to dark...(it was at 930pm)...oops.. sorri...i know i am like damn mean...sorri ah pu neh neh!!!

bloody hell.. got this guy from nowhere came over to my place to stay over.. wad my dad's frens.. he's onli 20+... use my soap.. my shampoo.. damn man.. and bathe so long.. i wonder wad he doing in the toilet.. even i also bathe faster den him la.. waste my water my shampoo.. body shop lei! should ask for one night rental.. $200 for invading my privacy.. hmph! DUN LIKE!

You said i belong to you... But why do i feel lost and not belonging to you? I feel more 'belonged' to other people rather den u. Any explainations?...

Status: Attatched or It's complicated?

The servant is gonna be upgraded to be a princess in a few days time.. yeah!!! anyway
i am soo gonna work hard with josephine koh and make sure i kill myself practicing piano and make it past diploma 1 2 3. hmph! work hard eva!!

How to stop a straight man from smoking

Is it that hard to get a decent chat from you? just 5 mins? the entire day was like 'no communication' I really don't like it. To the core. I dun see wad's so hard just to sms, I'm going drive now, sms u later. Yeah i am a control freak. So better think twice b4 being tgt with me. A quarrel with a bloody indian has let me into a volcano mood. foul mood. i am angry with everything. I hate today! hate it hate it!!!!!

long story short:
-guy 1 added me in msn
-i asked him where he got my email
-he told me irc
-i asked him for the nick of the guy who gave me my email (guess)
-he said that guy told me i was open
-i went into irc
-found guess, actually he found me, he talked to me first
-he asked for my email, but i asked for his first
-he gave it to me
-I went to my msn to check up, he's in my contact list
-i talked to him on msn
-i asked him if he was playing irc, he say, aiyoh, y play? crazy ah.
-but at the same time i was talking to him in irc!
-ironic?
-So i asked him in irc, how would u know if u were talking to the same person that u talked b4, onli that person changed his/her nick.
-he told me, right click den can see.
- i told he, so why is it u dunno that i talk to u b4?
-he said: huh? wad toking u? (trying to act dumb)
-He asked for my add again, i told him my add. he didn't reply from then.
-So i told him, if u wan to play around in irc, make sure u have the brains to do so. if not dun ever try. and f*** off.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of themwanted to concede ! their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband askedsarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?''Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use aday...30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeateverything to men...'The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupidand so beautiful all at the same time.'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain! .God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made mestupid so I would be attracted to you!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first, and thenwe don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around her e and youshould do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for mycoffee.'Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Biblethe at the man should do the coffee.'Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed himat the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........'HEBREWS'


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that thenext day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an earlymorning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrot!e on a piece of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would findit. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AMand he had missed his flight.Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is5:00 AM. Wake up.'

"I live my life for you, i wanna be by your side..." these were the words that were sounding in the background while i was laying on the white satin sheets of my bed.. it made me think of everything that happened in my life. The second that i was given to this world, the place which i thought to be heaven as a child to now, a realistic world, hell. I have always been searching for a purpose in life. I cannot seem to find a purpose. Am I in this world for people to love me? Or am I in this world for me to love people? I thought everything was gonna be fine... be good... be sweet... until I met you...my life had a purpose.... a purpose to love you, to be with you, to make you happy. But how can I make you happy when I'm not? I was happy.. until the real world came in. The prince loves the servant, but the queen wasn't too happy about them being together...The princess was a better choice...To the queen, as to the servant too. The princess was cute, pretty, sweet tongue.. who knows how to work her way into the heart of the queen. But the servant was nowhere near a cute, a pretty, a sweet tongue.. she was nowhere near her... far far far away from her... a servant will never be able to become a princess unless a miracle happen... So the queen banished her to the dungeons... and now... she has to find a way to break out of the dungeon... and into the queen's heart... until then.. she'll be sitting alone in the dungeon...heart that feels like a glass thrown down a cliff into a powerful waterfall.. churning round and round and broken... who will mend the heart for her?

To be continued....

When you meet the someone who was meant for you
Before two can become one there is something we must do
Do you pull each others tails?
Do you feed each other seeds?
Giselle: No, there is something sweeter everybody needs
I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this
That's what brings everaftering so happy
And that's the reason we need lips so much
Four lips are the only things that touch
So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love's kiss



Shes been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince she's hoping comes with this
That's what brings everaftering so happy
And that's the reason we need lips so much
Four lips are the only things that touch

So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love's kiss

You're the fairest maid I've ever met
You were made.. ...to finish your duet
And in years to come we'll reminisce
How we came to love
And grow and grow love
Since first we knew love through true love's kiss

wow.. today at the counselling session realli damn high.. heated arguements... but ironically, with giggles and laughter.. so not that bad right? Plus we had zi char after the thing.. yeah.. and i just realised, my hair on the right side suddenly grew quite fast this week. hmm.. lalalalalala.. red wine spa coming up after 11, exfoliator plus anti aging.. not bad a scrub.. oh yes, i wan to 'dehair' my legs also.. :Dand my arms. tmr is gonna be a bz day.. sch, den library.. and stuff.. i would be damn bz.. hmm my shoulder kinda hurt... i wonder y.. i think i carry too many things yesterday.. i went to buy oranges, dragon fruit, watermelon, lemon, grapes, prunes, big bone, lol.. a lots of stuff and i carried them all by my own.. yeah.. cause of the shoulder ache.. damn man.. haven pay bill yet.. 171 bucks.. die.. wait for money ba.. :D i wan to buy a psp.. damn man.. entertainment.. i can't believe i sold my psp away the other time just to get a new phone.. damn.. long time nv see my lynn lynn already.. dunno how she's doing, gotta do ot today so couldn't meet her. sian..so bored.. dunno wad to do tmr.. will decide later.. oh yes.. i finished watching all the ep of dark angel:D not a bad story line.. shall look for more to watch.. but exam's coming!! lol jia you.. cannot fail!! I WUN FAIL!! TAKE IT YOU BITCH LASALLE! hmph! lalalalala.. you are so going DOWN! i WILL OWN U! FEN U WATCH OUT! lol..

walao eh.. my left eye keep twitching.. not very the comfortable can? today is stay home day due to cramps.. zzz.. cancelled all my appts.. and my bloody wisdom tooth is growing out of my bottom gum.. the feeling? HIGH. tmr will be a great freaking day i hope.. today is really really bad.. oh crap.. gtg.. toodles!

wad de hell.. 2 nights stay at siam@siam is 440? wad rubbish.. nvm.. we'll always find a way to makes things cheaper. right lynn? :D now in school waiting for cui cui to come.. class ended early and our group was kinda screw up.. later cui is coming to my place, we're gonna make pizza and apple cinnamon cake. :D den at night roast chicken at home and make mashed potatos. :D.. happy, its gonna be a feast. Stupid aircon in school making my eyes dry.. sian.. anyway, i'll continue to look for my recipes.. ciao!

wow.. long time since i updated me blog.. hmm.. so i had a difficult decision to make yesterday. To forgo my private piano teacher who is damn well known, or to die for the next few years practicing tonnes of songs and pieces... well.. i decided to forgo.. concentrate on my school's pieces.. i feel damn down.. but never mind.. life has a lot of oppotunity costs... damn... and this is one big cost i have to forgo.. sigh.. now i'm looking for more piano and violin students.. i can't seem to get enough of money.. i am money hungry.. zzz.. money money money...i just uped the price of my teaching fees.. :D see what will happen.. sian ah.. later going to bedok to teach piano.. after that come home.. and day ends there. tmr will be a new day.. shit.. i haven pratice the courante of the partita.. damn.. JS BACH i am so sorri.. i will work harder on your songs.. dun strike lightning on me.. thanks! zz i am becoming so lame.. oh ya. me and lynn planning to go to thailand.. its saving time!!time to spend less.. and save more.. jia you oh! :D dunno whether is cui cui going or not.. nvm.. he shall continue to ponder and i shall wait.. so used to waiting already.. anyway, i'm gonna look for food now, in case i faint of hunger. toodles!

蚯蚓一家这天很无聊，小蚯蚓就把自己切成两段打羽毛球去了；

蚯蚓妈妈觉得这方法不错，就把自己切成四段打麻将去了；

蚯蚓爸爸想了想，就把自己切成了肉末。蚯蚓妈妈哭着说："你怎么这么傻？切这么碎会死的！"

蚯蚓爸爸弱弱地说："……突然想踢足球。"



龟兔赛跑.....兔子很快跑到前面去了......

乌龟看到一只蜗牛爬得很慢很慢.....对他说:你上来，我背你吧.....然后......蜗牛就了......

过了一会....乌龟又看到一只蚂蚁....对他说:你也上来吧....于是蚂蚁也上来了。

蚂蚁上来以后......看到上面的蜗牛.......对他说了句:你好！你们知道蜗牛说什么吗？

蜗牛说：你抓紧点，这乌龟好快.......



有一天，一家失火了，爸爸妈妈都逃出来了，只剩下一个儿子还在里面。妈妈很紧张的在屋外大喊：

"儿子.....你在干吗......都失火了还不出来......"

儿子回答："我在穿袜子阿....."

妈妈又说，"都失火了还穿什么袜子...."

过了五分钟，儿子还没出来......

妈妈又紧张的喊，"儿子，你到底在干什么？快出来~都失火了，还待在里面....."

儿子说，"我在脱袜子阿........"



有一天动物们在关公庙前面闻到很臭的味道。

蛇说：我这么小不会放这么臭的屁，一定是牛。

牛说：我是吃草的不会放这么臭的屁

猪说：放屁的人一定会脸红。

忽然关公冲了出来，把猪打飞说：说了多少次了，我脸红是天生的。

BMW night vision!

ZOMG

school bus from india

new merc

lol